Saturday, November 10, 2012


As a writer, you are told that you must write every day.

If you are a writer, and you do not write every day, you must expect to suck at it. And by 'it' I mean writing. See what I mean?

My first semester as a candidate for an MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Tampa has come to a close. So I figure this is the perfect time to actually begin taking my writing seriously.

I am only being facetious. If you did not already pick up on my facetiousness, you are probably not the type of person who will appreciate anything I do. Or you are my mother. I doubt there could possibly be any gray area.

All too often, I am asked by such types of people (those who do not appreciate flippancy - yes, those people) what, pray tell, do I plan on doing with an MFA in Creative Writing? After explaining to them my ambition to become a professional asshole, they laugh (presumably getting the joke, or perhaps they're merely being polite), and ask something along the lines of "No, seriously, what are you gonna do, teach?"

Do they think I'd make a good teacher? Do they not yet understand that I am an asshole? Do they think teachers are assholes? No...they're probably the assholes.

And, like it or not, they seem to be the ones making the world go 'round. The true assholes are intent on molding the world around them into a mere reflection of themselves: a giant, stinking, shit-caked pit.

But that sounds bitter. It sounds young, angsty, and naive. It does not sound befitting of an educator of any type or stripe. However, it certainly sounds like the whining...of a budding asshole.

I cannot allow myself to devolve into what the true assholes so desperately desire me to become. I must grow and evolve. I must, as they keep telling me, write every day. It is not for the sake of improving my writing, but for the benefit of my whole self (and Mr. Kite - that's a Beatles reference. I assume a better writer/person would not make such a senseless reference. He'd also use less parenthetical handicaps.).

So, I will, damn it. I will write every day.

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