Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Downward Glances

I got a great deal of compliments on a new pair of shoes I rocked today. I wear new shoes fairly often. It helps that I sell them. But this particular pair has garnered more positive attention than anything else I've ever tied to my feet (including those frogs - sorry, Ms. Morgan, 9th grade biology teacher, I didn't know you meant for me to tie them to the top of my feet. I know you have pictures of this occurring somewhere. I remember this vividly because you were naked while you took the photos. I always remember when people are naked and screaming simultaneously. I'm making all of this up.)

For someone who sells shoes, I realize I rarely ever look at anyone's feet. Even for a foot appreciator (foot fetishist - see how I softened that revelation with the pedophile frog picture massacre?), I don't often look down enough. What's the point? The feet are usually inside of something. And yeah, said feet are rarely inside of frog guts, but that's not going to stop me from bringing that up from time to time, like I'm beating a dead frog or something.

I suppose my penchant for particularly bright footwear attracts the eye. Or maybe I'm far less observant than I should be if I'd like to tell jokes and stuff. Regardless, I'm going to go back to enjoying behind-the-scenes footage of Sesame Street. I particularly enjoy the Kermit segments. If I had this on VHS, the tape would be worn at these particular frames.

I'm not saying I masturbate to frog disembowelment. But I do really like feet, I swear.

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