I'm going to tell you about three things that just happened. They "just" happened, as in they occurred within the last half hour.
First, I bought a cheesecake from a recovering drug addict. He represents such and such a charity ("Hogar" something or other), and once a month these men and women descend upon our hallways awkwardly selling cheesecakes to raise funds for their recovery center. I bought one, ate the entire thing, just wrapped up a text message regarding how awful an idea that was (to eat the entire thing) and another cheesecake appeared before me on the display shelf.
So, either a miracle occurred, or my stuttering salesman managed to sneak into the store, stood NEXT to me, and slipped me another cheesecake gratis, on the recovery house. I neither saw nor heard him.
*insert Arrested Development reference*
Before I could even piece of pie together what had just fucking happened, I was summoned to our other shop.
I saw a midget sitting in a public ashtray.
I say "public ashtray" so as to distinguish between the type of ashtray you might find on a coffee table, and one which a human being (at least a midget) could conceivably sit inside of. The imagery was whimsical nonetheless.
Last, and probably least, I saw a t-shirt with an American flag on it that said "Proud." This struck me as redundant. No one waves a flag out of shame. Maybe you wave a white flag out of shame, or you experience some degree of humility while doing so. But no one is shoving a national flag in my face because they've realized, to however marginal a degree, how inconsequential their own existence might be. It's ridiculous. We get it. FLAGGY MCFLAGGLETON.