Tuesday, August 19, 2014


PSV Eindhoven fans are upset that their club is providing fans with free wi-fi within its stadium. On the surface, it sounds like an asinine thing to be upset about, and for once your knee-jerk reaction is probably the right one to have. But let's give these skinheads troglodytes the benefit of the doubt.

Is the wi-fi expensive? Couldn't this money be spent more wisely?

Maybe, and perhaps. But I'm not seeing these supporters offering any suggestions or alternatives. Apparently, the club thinks it's going to attract more people to the stadium. This is also kind of silly in its own right, because who is going to pay an already exorbitant fee to merely use free wifi? Starbucks customers, that's who. And you know what? Starbucks already exists. No matter how overpriced that double soy latte may seem, it's still a lot more value per euro than mediocre Dutch football.

And I don't really know what PSV's problem is, apart from the fact that it participates in a league (a league I enjoy, but don't go out of my way to watch) that has seen better days.

So this whole argument has been framed around what "real" fans (as opposed to those fake ones who buy tickets and cheer for their team without feeling the need to make a colossal fucking spectacle of themselves) should be doing during a match. Well, certainly they shouldn't be live-tweeting or tagging themselves at their favorite sports venue! No sir, they ought to be (drunkenly) cheering on the team, and vehemently opposing change!

They also should not, apparently, be contacting emergency services in the event of a *drum roll* EMERGENCY! Because having that wifi signal will boost the reception of most smart phones, thereby making it easier to contact emergency services in a stadium of thousands. But god damn it, we only want REAL fans dying from epileptic seizures and heart attacks and whatnot. HONOR! GLORY! SIMPLICITY!

Dear PSV fans, I'm addressing you directly now. Your team probably sucks, and has ceased being relevant on the European stage (which I think is the root of this issue more than anything else). If you're worried that your precious stadium atmosphere is going to be negatively affected by the presence of wifi, you have a shitty atmosphere to begin with.

And I get it, this is attached to other changes you don't like. You don't like that stadium officials have cracked down on standing sections. You don't like that non-supporters group fans are growing less passionate. You'd prefer your club focus more on what's occurring on the pitch.

Maybe you should heed your own advice.

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