Sunday, December 7, 2014

Fuck Your God (Advertising)

I just deleted a friend request from someone who did not appear to be a real person. Obviously, someone somewhere is behind the creation of this fake account. People have to fake being people to make other people buy things. It's depressing. Facebook has only existed for the better part of a decade, but being a slime ball salesman is as old as the concept of currency.

Remember that obnoxious Geico commercial? No, not that one. I'm talking about the one with the screaming pig. I also find that depressing. That's what it has come down to, America. You're being marketed to by a screaming fucking pig. This is what Geico thinks of you. And they're not far off. Most of you seem to have the mentality of overgrown third graders. But they're also partially responsible for making you this way.

Whose carotid artery needs to be slashed to further prevent such non-consensual assaults on my senses? Whose testicles must I chop off and feed back to them to stop this heinous onslaught of artless depravity?

How many times can I brutally reword the same sentiment until you start to feel uneasy?

I like Banksy's idea of using art as a means of countering the barrage. When you walk down the street (especially in a big city) you're constantly harassed by advertising. You're made to feel as inadequate and unworthy as possible. You have very little say in the experience. But graffiti is illegal? Fuck you harder.

People like to talk about banning certain kinds of advertisements for kids. I say let's go for broke. Ban 'em all. If you can't market your product on the basis of its merit, you deserve to die. Survival of the fittest, right? God bless capitalism. God bless America. Hail, hail.

Just kidding. Well, I'm kidding about the "you deserve to die" part. What we could really use is a system where it doesn't have to come down to that. After all, we have the resources.

But having everything (and then some) isn't good enough for some (and by that I mean an elite few). So, again, who needs to die "mysteriously" of carbon monoxide poisoning?

And to clarify, I'm not suggesting we execute any of these miserable crooks (yet). I'm against the death penalty. I just really enjoy thinking about it.

Like, really. A whole heapin' helpin' lot.