Monday, May 4, 2015

Bernie Sanders Appalls People Who Hate People

Bernie Sanders is running for president. It seems, generally, people are not taking him very seriously. First and foremost, his last name isn't Clinton. Second, he is not a guano crazy Republican. Third strike? Well, how dare he suggest America can be better.

Yes, most appalling to the Giant Fucking Idiot (GFI) contingent of the American electorate is his comparing "THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH!" (slur as much as possible while you scream this) to Scandinavia. He seems to think we should try to be more like all those countries that have a higher standard of living than ours. How dare he.

 The GFIs will not tolerate a candidate who does not believe that there are threats to the United States' standing in the world beyond Barack Hussein Obama and job-stealing (but also somehow irreconcilably lazy) Mexicans. Grouped in with the Mexicans, who only really exist on a plane of reality spawned from the cognitive dissonance of the GFIs and a cocktail of Everglade gasses, is ISIS.

As long as ISIS is restricted to killing other Muslims, all is well, right? Hell, the GFIs don't mind Obama so much when "his" drones are killing innocent Muslims. Basically, as long as you're indiscriminately killing Muslims, you're okay in the eyes of a GFI.

We can assume, based on what we know so far, Bernie Sanders is against indiscriminate killing of Muslims. Perhaps he should reconsider his basic human decency. It seems as if he's not willing to forfeit any of his principles to gain access to what is allegedly the most powerful office on Earth. We should obviously be suspicious of someone so bold.

Follow the money. His top donors are unions and actual people. If he really wants to lead the American people, he should consider courting favor with multinational mega-corporations, rather than wasting so much time courting favor with the American people.

Maybe we can trust him a tiny bit more if he reveals which bank he uses. After all, our own interests are uninteresting to us.

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